A Guide To Surviving The Holidays – Getting Over the Family Holiday Dramas

Ah, the holidays. The “most wonderful time of year”?

As much as the holidays is a time to be spent with family, family can be complicated. Take “Home Alone” as an example: a kid is left alone for Christmas and has the time of his life, because there was no annoying older brother, no pestering parents, and no loud uncles, aunts, or cousins to ruin the quiet of his time alone.

Yet, for some of us, it’s expected that we’re spending time with our family. So, here are some survival tips for this holiday season:

• Be realistic about what the holidays will be like. Many of us might idealize what the “holidays” should look like and then we’re met with disappointment. Remember: nobody’s family is perfect.
• If things don’t go as planned, see if you can reach out to your supports to talk about how you are feeling.
• Leave the guilt at home. Being around family can bring up a lot of confusing feelings, with guilt being one of them. Be kind to yourself and try not to put unreasonable pressure on yourself.
• Spend as much or as little time as you want with family. It can be super overwhelming to be under the same roof. Make sure to check-in with yourself and reach out to your supports during this time.
• Be willing to practice saying “no” and setting boundaries. Alongside guilt is the unrealistic expectation to say yes to requests over the holidays. It’s okay to say no in a thoughtful and kind way, and then for you to go about the rest of the holidays as you please (for example: “thank you for the invitation to come to dinner tonight. I will be there for about 1 hour and then will need to attend to some other commitments.”)

If you need support setting boundaries or working through your expectations for the holidays, you can get that support through a trusted family member, friend, or therapist.