Start With R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
When it comes to talking to a loved one about mental health, it can be very uncomfortable because as a society we are still living with a lot of stigma around mental health and there isn’t enough information out there to help us know how to start these types of conversations. Try using R-E-S-P-E-C-T to start the conversation:
(R) Realize it’ll take time to understand where you’re coming from.
For those experiencing a mental health condition, they might be having a hard time coming to terms with that. Some might be experiencing “anosognosia” which is a symptoms where someone does not have self-awareness of their condition; meaning that person doesn’t know or think they’re ill. TED Talk by Dr. Xavier Amador gives a good description of what this might look like.
(E) Educate yourself and others.
Read about the mental health conditions and make sure to talk to a professional. As helpful as Doctor Google can be, it’s important to check the information you’re receiving online.
(S) Say to yourself “it’s okay to feel what I’m feeling”.
It can be really challenging for family members to support a loved one with mental health concerns. You’ll can find yourself feelings a lot of different emotions: anger, frustration, shock, sadness, confusion, and/or guilt. Another common thing is caregiver burnout – a feeling of mental, physical, and/or emotional exhaustion due to the demands of providing care. Make sure to have support for yourself, because your loved one needs you to be healthy in order for them to be supported by you.
(P) Pause and patience
While it’s easy to say, patience is a virtue, it can be hard to practice. Not only will you need to be patient with your loved one, it’s also important to be patient with yourself and the difficult feelings that might come up for you. So, practice pausing (taking a breath) and then patience for those difficult situations where you are at your wits end and unsure what to do.
(E) Expect that there will be good days and bad days.
Each day will come with good and bad moments. Progress isn’t linear. It can feel frustrating after several “good days” to have a “bad day” where the symptoms flare-up. During a “bad day”, take notice of what might have happened that day so you can advise the professional when seeking support.
(C) Crisis plans are important.
A crisis plan is a plan that is discussed in calm moments to decide which supports (personal and professional) to access during a crisis. Here is a great article on how to create a mental health crisis plan.
(T) Teamwork makes the dream work.
Think about who to involve in your “team” to support your loved one and you as well. List out people like mental health professionals (e.g. psychiatrists, family doctors, therapists), peer support (e.g. groups, crisis helplines), and family and/or friends.
Things can be really tough especially with a family member going through a mental health crisis. A therapist can be a great support in those situations.
To learn more about how a therapist can support you and/or your family member, book a free 15 minute consultation phone call.
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